yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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