Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
