Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
