Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
