how can u be prego again
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
