I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
