no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
