i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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