Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize