i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just high enough for therapy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
