remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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