I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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