Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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