Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
