its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
