Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize