I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
