Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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