Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
