UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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