Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
