you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize