So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He did a backflip because drugs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
