We're facebook friends in real life
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Houston, we have a blender
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
