CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
