You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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