Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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