i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
