Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
