I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
