I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize