Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i came on her dog
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
