I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
only you would photoshop your dick
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
