everyone is single if you try hard enough
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
