I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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