sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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