Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
im having a threesome with these popsicles
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
