trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
