He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just invented taco cereal.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
