I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
