wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize