I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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