Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
