All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Found the puke drawer
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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