You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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