before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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