I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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