You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
