i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
soo... how was my night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
