im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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