Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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