Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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