The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
