note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize