All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize