Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
And then he peed in my hair
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