Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
