Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
