your parents love me but you hate me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need water and some morals
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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